Sunday, 24 May 2009

x Happiness and then a snotty nose x

Well....first about the off to clinic on tuesday to be put on it...yay!!! Im really excited but nervous at the same time as i am pinning all my hopes on it so i want it to work for me!! Will let u know how it goes and if, or when, it kicks in.

I have still been feeling really happy since my last post and just been trying to get this uni stuff done. But I have had a busy and tiring week so need to slow down abit. On wednesday, I went bluewater for lunch and shopping with Steph which was sooooo funny and we brought clothes for friday and then thursday I went to get my hair done in the afternoon as it was looking a mess!! It now looks lovely :) Thursday was also a very special day as it was mine and Scotts 3 year anniversary (even though it feels like forever lol). We just spent a nice night together and had dinner together. He brought me a big bouquet of pink flowers which were gorgeous!!

Friday I had work for a few hours which was good and then of the night time was clubbing time!! We went to zens and it was ok but I prefer going to the clubs and bars at the o2 as they play the sort of music i like all night. It was a good night thou and i got in at about 2am and slept on the sofa lol. I didnt sleep well as i had a bellyache and the beginnings of a snotty over the weekend i did nothing but cough, blow my nose and moan!!

Today i feel nose aint causing the tickly cough much but still clogged up so will hit the wii-fit later on still planning on resting abit today but will sit here and do uni work and eat!! I dont want my chest to start to get bad again as i have been doing quite well so fingers crossed it wont!!

Am actually quite hungry today even though i've been snacking and had breakfast n stuff already but im not complaining! Going to find some more food and waiting for mummy to get back with another supply of jelly babies...mmmmmm...she is off all week as its half term so i have some company!!!

Speak to u all soon xxx

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

x I want megace!! x

Clinic yesterday!! It was ok i suppose!! My lung function went up to 37% and my chest sounded quite clear so thats good news - now need to step up the exercise - wii fit here i come!! My weight went down a little bit to 43.7kg but i knew it would be something like that so it wasnt a shock. Been speaking to people on the CF forum and there is something called megace which a few of them have had and have positive things to say about increases your appetite so you eat everything in sight i demanded this to my dietitian and CF nurse. They researched it and seemed ok about it but they will talk about it in the CF meeting on thursday and let me know....i sooooooooooo hope that they put me on it as this is my last chance to put on weight before they come at me with a PEG which i am horrified by!!

It was also my lovely boyfriend Scott's birthday yesterday and he came down after work, i cooked him dinner and he opened his pressies...i secretly brought him an ipod touch 32gb and he loved it..he was surprised as i said i would give him some money to put towards it but i got a good deal so brought it anyway lol...mummy got him lots of different bits and pieces which included a cup with an electric spinner on the bottom so you press a button and it mixes up your drink for you...scott has an obsession with chocolate milk (not any chocolate milk, it has to be the nesquick powder and then milk mixed together). So for the rest of the night he was playing with the ipod touch and listening to the songs on it and dancing round the room while holding his chocolate milk cup!!! I love him xx

Im happy at the moment and have been feeling quite alright over the past week or so....the only thing that is hindering the happiness is this bloody uni work and my weight but we will sort them out soon.
I have always liked going to work at the nursery but over the past couple of times i have gone into work i have loved it and thats due to getting along with everyone that wors there. They have all been great and im now really looking forward to a few nights out we have all got booked up!! wooohoooo!!

Even though I have had a good week...i have had 2 things wrong with me which are quite funny according to scott and mummy....1st thing: we went to the funfair on friday night and it was great...mum came and worried about me all the way round because it was abit cold and the rides did make me have coughing fits because i scream all the way round and laugh so that was great physio. however, the last ride was sooooo fast and spun round and round and i came off and said my back hurt...mum had a look and screamed as i had bruises all up my spine...its only just going down now so i can just about sit back was worth it thou...i love funfairs!! the 2nd problem was after work on work we went outside with the kids as it was sunny and we was out there for about an hour...well when i got home i had a red nose, cheek and forehead..i was sunburnt!!! i had been joking about it because i was on antibiotics they make you burn easier but i was only in it for an hour - that takes this piss lol xx

Anyway...i must be off now...i have to go to uni to hand in some work and then carry on with the rest of it! I cant wait to finish all these essays i am starting to go slowly insane!!

x Lots of love x

Friday, 1 May 2009

x Latest.... x

Well....not much has really happened over the past few weeks.
Im back on oral antibiotics as I have a cough again but at the moment im still able to do things and have energy but the cough is just constant and annoying!!! Scared a few people at work but i just laugh it off lol xx they should be used to me by now - i just like them to know im still at work lol x
Been doing my uni work alot but its still taking a while and sometimes I give up but im nearly there and my daddy keeps saying he cant wait until I graduate in October which i always think of to keep me going. ive finished 1 essay so far and done other learning logs and observations and lots of research for other essays but when i think about what more i have to do it is alot!!! - 3 essays - one is 1500 words, one is 5000 words and one is 7000 words!!!

Last week I felt on the verge of a breakdown!! What with all the uni work and then not feeling great after only just coming out of hospital a week before...but i am due on now so that cant have helped my emotions!! I was waking up in the mornings and doing all my tablets, nebs, food then exercise, then getting dressed and making my self look better so that i felt better but i still didnt so i started to think "whats the f***ing point???" I cried all last weekend and in front of my dad which i try not to do as he doesnt like it at all and cant handle it well - so i shocked myself!! it was a nice day on saturday with him thou!!
Oh and it has been such nice weather aswell and i aint been able to go and sunbathe because of being on these damn antibiotics!!!

Ive been ok the past few days and feeling happy even with this cough and loved being back at work and seeing all the girls again - i was trying so hard not too laugh as it would bring on a coughing fit but it didnt really work!!! Today though, i have been thinking about people being there for u and that when i was having a hard time last week, there was only a few people i could really talk too. I think some people either dont know what to do when im ill or just dont realise how hard it is in hospital (its not just lying in bed having a rest for 2 weeks - its actually very stressful and depressing) or being ill constantly. I always try and look happy when i see people so maybe i should truely tell them how i feel and how scared i am but i dont because that would be like admitting defeat. I try so hard to be a good friend and dont expect much in return even if it is only 1 visit every hosp admission or a text asking how i am!!! its not that hard is it??

Anyway, i dont want to waste my breath on people (i need as much breath as i can get lol) now looking on the internet for coach holidays to spain for me and scott as i am terrified of flying!! I want to go now!!! Hopefully by the end of august though, i will be healthier chest-wise and alot fatter!!!

Lots of love x