x Covered in jelly!! x

The weekend was a good one!! Lance's birthday was good and I had such laughs with mummy, jen (my dieticain) and Hannah - my mate who also has CF - cross infection - blah blah blah :) It was in a hall/bar which is based in the hospital so i can offically say i went for a night out at the hospital ;)

A few pics from the night - check out the newly blonde hair!!

Me and Jen - my dietician who drinks like a fish!!

The cake - nomnomnom!!

Hannah, Lance and Me

Sunday, me and Scott got up and went to McDonalds for breakfast and got there at 10.45am and was told that it now finished at half 10 so i was NOT happy!! Had to settle for cornflakes and chocolate when i got home :( Am pleased to announce that Chelsea beat Man U and I was eating my roast at the time of the goal so nearly chocked!!

Forgot to say that last week, I popped in to the nursery to see everyone and give them some flowers to say thank you for putting up with me! They got all the kids in one room to say goodbye to me and gave me flowers, chocolates and a card...I cried all the way home!! Also got a letter in the post from the owner of the nursery to say thank you for my help and that i am welcome back if i get my health any better and she gave me a £25 gift token to Bluewater. I really miss work but i am going to the xmas party and will still go out and about with the girls.

Clinic today was alot to take in...I had my ultrasound so they could look for veins for putting in my portacath...am now feeling horrible as I was covered with that jelly stuff all down my arms, chest and neck! The results will be sent to the surgeon and i just have to wait to hear from him now :( Lung function stayed the same and so did weight so that was abit poop....have to keep a closer eye on my sugars so that means more daily finger pricks and i have to keep a food diary to show what i am eating so that the insulin can match the food. All very complicated!!

Dont really know what to feel at the moment as nothing has gone down but nothing has gone up...im nervous and NOT looking forward to the port operation but then i do want it as it will be easier (hopefully) and the regular iv's may help the lung function....cant think about this anymore or my head will explode or i will just carry jabbering on!!

x Lots of love x

x Blonde-ness and Ebaying x

My hair is VERY blonde and i am still getting used to it but i do like it!! Went out after getting it done for a meal with Daddy, my bro, Scott and many others for Lisa (my dads girlfriend) birthday...it was a late meal so i was bloody starving by the time it came so felt sick when i got in but it was worth it and very yummy!!

I got a letter from the vascular - i hate that word - department about going for a scan of my arteries ready to have my port put in and i cried when i opened it...dont ask why...i dont know myself but i think its just because its actually happening and im nervous anyway. The appointment is for next tuesday and i have clinic that day too so will be up the hosp most of that afternoon but Daddy is coming with me so i should be ok.

I have decided to make some money on Ebay. We have a shed full of stuff and keep meaning to do a bootsale but its winter now and most of them start too early so i figured this was an easier way. I have sold a few things on Ebay before so it should go well and means the house will be clutter-free in time for xmas, and then we will refill it again lol :) I have put 3 things up so far and went to go to the shed today to make a start and couldnt find the backdoor key - i have looked everywhere and mum has now looked to and its still missing so thats my Ebay plans on hold for a while!!

Nothing really to report health-wise. I am still off of antibiotics and it has been 1 and half weeks since finishing the oral course so im pleased. Cough is not too bad so today I have had thoughts about attempting the gym next week. I hope to try for monday in the day as there will hopefully be less people and then i have something good to report at clinic on tuesday :)

Am staying in tonight as Stephie is not too well so we are not going out as planned- GET WELL SOON! Scotts mum and dad are away so we are going to have a nice night in with the doggies, a takeaway and a film....oh that reminds me...do you like my creation?? Me and Scott were highly bored the other night.

x Seriously need to stop shopping! x

God!! Was just thinking what I have been doing all week and the answer is shopping!! Now this is obviously good, as I am a girl and love to shop but bearing in mind i am now unemployed, this means the money is not being replaced!!! I went shopping with Stephie on wednesday to lakeside which was so funny - i was trying not to laugh too much due to coughing fits and we ate so much at harvester im surprised we made it round the shops!! I have also been shopping at bexleyheath 3 times and bluewater on saturday night with mummy!!
I have offically started my xmas shopping and picking up bits and pieces that i see while shopping as i know that i will have to go into hospital again before xmas (for iv's and possibily my port operation) so i dont want to be in a rush - not that i can rush much anyway!!

Other than shopping i havent done much apart from bits and pieces round the house.

I have made a miraculous recovery though!! 2 days in a row i was up and awake at 8am which is NOT like me and if anyone knows CF'ers, we dont usually do mornings!! I suddenly had energy and could be bothered to do stuff and my cough had cleared itself up!! At clinic on Tuesday they did give me orals as i was still coughing but i havent started them as i dont feel i need them now! I do have a theory as to what i think may have helped.....insulin!! I started on it at the weekend as i said before, but i was told it takes a while to get fully into your system and have longer term effects. I believe this has helped my body so I suppose it was abit of a blessing that I was finally diagnosed with diabetes. See how it goes...

Havent got anything planned for this week yet but am looking forward to the weekend which sounds like it may be busy! Friday i should be going out with Stephie, saturday is my CF nurse Lance birthday party - the big 40 may i add ;) - and sunday i am up the pub for the football which is Chelsea and Man u....good times...will let you know how it goes!!

Am now off to hoover my car as its full of crumbs and leaves and then started cooking a big fry-up dinner nomnomnom :)

x Lots of love x

x Mummy's cure for CF!! x

As i said in my last post i knew this hospital report wouldnt be the best and it wasnt!!
My weight had gone down a kg to 45.5kg and my lung function went down a little to 24% so i am not happy! I wasnt moaned at so at least that was something!! Got given some more oral antibiotics as this cough is still hanging on but getting abit better - dare i say that!! Im doing well with my insulin and blood sugar monitoring but they cant change anything yet as they need to see more results over a longer period of time. A letter was also sent to the surgeon last week in regards to me having a port fitted which i hope will be done before xmas but on the other hand i dont want it!!!!!

Woke up early this morning (for me) at 8am and have no idea why....mum heard me cough so poked her head round the door and nearly died of shock as i was wide awake waving at her lol. She came and sat on the bed and told me about her dream...r u ready....
She had a boy about 10 years old who had CF. He had a bad cough and mum met up with a nurse who said that to make him better he needs to drink a full sink bowl of washing-up liquid. Mum went upstairs to be by herself and then the nurse came up and said he had managed to drink half of it...Mum went downstairs as she wanted to be with him and he was lying down on his own...she went over and he opened his eyes, smiled and said how great he feels and he didnt have a cough anymore.
So there u have it everyone...my mum has offically found a cure for CF...never mind all this research and expensive drugs...pop down to the corner shop and by some....WASHING-UP LIQUID!!! :)
If only it was that easy, ay!!

Right - im off to get ready as i am off shopping with Steph but before we begin, we must fuel up on steaks and coke :)

x Lots of love x

x Needles, cars and my graduation x

Monday was the dreaded diabetes clinic but it went ok in the end. It took me about 5 minutes to pluck up the courage to stab myself with the needle but I did it and it wasnt too bad i suppose!! Will start of with doing insulin once a day just before my biggest meal of the day - which is normally dinner. Have to keep an eye on my blood sugars and have to do them when i wake up, before the insulin and 2 hours after starting my meal.

The feelings of diabetes is horrible though and i didnt really realise before how scary it really is. If my sugars go too low then I start to feel slightly drunk and my head is all light, and i have no energy to even get up. If they go too high, I get more breathless but i dont really notice the signs of high sugars at the moment. I have been constantly drinking, and therefore weeing, alot more and its driving me mad!! Hopefully this insulin helps with my weight and my chest infections :)

Wednesday was my graduation and we had to leave the house by 8am so i was not happy!! It rained all day but I had my family there and it was a lovely morning. I looked so little in the cap and gown and they were heavy!! The ceremony went ok and i didnt cough so was pleased. Was very tired that night and didnt do anything on thursday as I was really tired and worn out.

Over the weekend I have been so tired and having coughing fits still. Its taking me ages to do things like get ready so will ask about other antibiotics or steriods to help give me a boost as i cant have i.v's again - its too soon!! Ive got hospital tomorrow so will let you know how it goes but im not very optimistic - so im warning you all now that it may be a 'moaning' post!!!

x Lots of love x

x Feeling better and positive x

My first week has passed being unemployed and not having to do any work but it has gone soooo quick and I havent really enjoyed it as my cold was still having its effects. I think the week 'rest' has helped though as thursday night i started to feel better and by friday morning i actually had energy to do things. I wasnt just sitting on my arse all week though - ive managed to do little bits of exercise but not as much as i hoped as my chest was bad and it was clearing without me having to do much - even walking up the stairs ended in big coughing fits but i tried my best. Im also proud to say that ive been making sure i do most of my nebs. All of this and taking the antibiotics has helped me feel better :)

This weekend has been a nice relaxing weekend i suppose. Saturday was spent at the pub watching Chelsea and eating cheese rolls with Daddy and then me and Scott had a takeaway and a night infront of the tele and today (Sunday) I have sat on my arse in my pjs, had a shower and getting ready to go cinema tonight with Scott to watch couples retreat which is a funny film so will try and hold back the coughing!!!

Am slightly nervous about next week as tomorrow i have to go hospital to start my insulin for my diabetes - argh - and on wednesday is my graduation and im too nervous!!!

x Lots of love x

x Annual review finally diagnoses diabetes x

Well diabetes has now been confirmed :( not really a big surprise but just another thing to add to my daily routine!! Have got to go and learn how to stab myself next monday but just keep an eye on my blood sugars until then....the diabetes was confirmed at annual review last thursday which was not the best day, i was knackered when i got home!!


Was not allowed to eat anything until after the tests were finished and had to be up the hospital by 9am. For those people that really know me...this is not a good day already as i am a moody minge when i am tired and hungry so not a good mix lol. Had my first blood test for my sugar levels then had to drink the horrid glucose drink and wait 2 hours. Meanwhile, I went off to x-ray and ultrasound, got my nebuliser serviced, spoke to physios and dietician and then had the second blood test which didnt go brilliantly as Lance couldnt get a vein - another reason why i need a port now. Anyway as i found out this week, the results of blood sugars should be inbetween 3-7 to be 'normal' and mine came back at 13!! Oppps. Finally got home about 12.30 and ate then went to sleep :)

Friday afternoon I went to take the dogs for a walk with Scott and he had brought them a new big ball which they loved so we played abit of football with them - well i stood there and when the ball came to me i kicked it lol - i cant bloody run!! That night was great as I went out with the girls from work for a meal but I still couldnt eat as much as i normally do because i was so clogged up in my chest that i started to feel sick if i kept eating!!

Saturday I felt like shit but still made it to my dads but did go upstairs for a sleep in the pub at one point which made me feel abit better :) but by Sunday I perked up a little and me and Scott went to a big outlet shopping centre in Ashford which was a nice day out but I did not know how big it was and it was a circle format so once you started walking round you had to carry on to get back round to where you had parked!! Came home and ate and had a sleep - knackered!!!!

Monday should have been my mate Vickys 21st so I went to visit her at the cemetery. Her family and 2 of my other CF mates were there and we all had a laugh about memories of her. It was nice seeing her family again and i really hope to keep in touch with them. Im not too worried about her up there though as she is with some of the others so she will be having her own party in the sky. Love you mate xxx

Now for the biggest news of the week - the 'secret' from my last post is that i have had to give up work at the nursery. I really didnt want it to come to this but i know that it has to be done. I keep catching everything from the kids and am not getting the chance to build myself up before i catch something and get knocked back down again :( I am going to miss it and really miss the people who work there but i will still keep in touch with them and still go on nights out with them when i can!! Now I am going to give myself a break until after xmas - i think i deserve it!!

x Lots of love x