Finally feeling better :)
Home is scheduled for tuesday and from then on the hard work to strengthen my lungs begins...i need to get my lung function up as its getting frustrating and slightly scary now!!!
Since my last post i have managed to come off my oxygen after 2 weeks and got rid of all the crap from my lungs which took lots of coughing, pain and alot of painkillers!!! Had to have a new line put in as my vein blocked up and died on me, took a few painful trys to find another vein but i now have one in....thank goodness....hope it lasts till the i.vs finish!!
Because of the failing veins and the fact that I am running out, talk of having a portacath has begun and I am actually pooping myself :( I am facing up to the fact that I need one and i do believe it will be easier and less stressful but its just the fact of having an operation and knowing how sore it will be after!! Anyway i dont wanna speak too much about that now as its making me feel sick already!
Just also want to mention a little about Vickys funeral which was on friday 11th september. Well its easy to say that it was one of the most heartbreaking days of my life so far. Not just because i was upset but it was so horrible seeing people that are normally strong, be just as upset as me. I wouldnt have missed it for the world so I was there with tubes and my oxygen and millions of tissues. The actual thing was lovely and a fitting tribute to an amazing girl but i cried from beginning to end. There was actaully one point in the day where i let a certain thought creep into my head but managed to quickly push it out again...just looking at everyone looking at me with the oxygen and stuff i started to think...am i next?? Silly thing i know but i couldnt help it.
Hopefully by my next post i will be home sleeping in my own bed and getting ready to work as hard as i can to make myself better...lets hope it works!!
x Lots of love x