Documentary on BBC3

I havent done much at all since starting these ivs which is a good and bad thing really. Good because i should be resting and taking it easy so my body can recover and not keep knackering myself out, but bad because my head wants to do lots of things and i also keep getting a dead bum!!

I have been using my portable oxygen when driving and when i went up Scotts and the pub. It doesnt bother me wearing it infront of people, although its not the greatest fashion accessory, but i often worry about how the people around me feel about me wearing it. My dad tries to kind of keep me in one area of the pub for example. Its not that he is embarassed, I just think that he is trying to protect me but i find myself getting snappy at him, but again, thats because of my own feelings. I worry how scott and my family feel having to see me with it on. We all know my lungs are a big piece of crap but its just a physical reminder at how bad they really are. I start to wonder how long it will be until I am on oxygen alot more or even 24/7. Hopefully I can get over this infection and keep the oxygen just for overnight use again. My mind always goes into overdrive when im not well.

I got an email on thursday from a producer from a company that does documentaries for the big channels like ITV, BBC and channel 4. They came across my blog and want to get me involved in a documentary on young people and transplants. It will be shown on BBC3 at 9pm in October. At first i wasnt sure whether to do it or not because I am scared i will say the wrong thing and come across in the wrong way and plus, I sound like a child on cameras!!! Lots of people have supported me and urged me to go for it so I got in touch and they are coming round for a chat on friday afternoon....argh!!! Im looking forward to this weekend as its scottings birthday so I hope it goes well.

x Lots of love x